How to Draw Boundaries with Nonresponsives in Personal Finances

How to Draw Boundaries with Nonresponsives in Personal Finances

I don’t hear this sort of stories often but every once in a while when I hear it, it rocks me.  Debbie once told me about her father when she was growing up.  By the way, Debbie isn’t her real name but she is a real person I know.

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How to Deal with Controllers Who Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

How to Deal with Controllers Who Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Do you have people in your life who have difficulty hearing and accepting your boundaries, especially when it comes to money?  It could be a friend or a family member who keeps insisting you to cosign for a lease on a car or a loan for school.  Or that same person who keeps asking you to lend them some money you know they won’t pay back.

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How to Set Boundaries with People About Money

How to Set Boundaries with People About Money

How to Set Boundaries with People:  Questions People Struggle With

Parents have asked me if they should let their fully grown adult children to live in their homes without being productive or contributing to the family’s finances.  They keep giving allowance to their fully grown adult children while asking me why they are not finishing school or getting a job.

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Discipleship Matters in Personal Finances

Back in 2014, the church I was serving at had to cut one of our short-term mission budgets to the Natives we had been committed for many years.  The budget cut was rather sudden so the majority of high school and college students who comprised the bulk of the group were not quite ready with the doubling of the mission registration cost.  I was getting rather worried and began to wonder if people will be able to afford to join the team and serve as we had done before.

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A Steward’s Guide to Retiring With Dignity Part 2: Basic Steps

A Steward’s Guide to Retiring With Dignity Part 2: Basic Steps

A couple in their early 60s making around $150K with $100K saved for retirement, investing $6K annually.  They make good money, but it’s going to be a while before they get to really retire. If they continue at this rate, in their early 70s, they will have $373,126 after investing for 10 years in a good mutual fund with an average annual return rate of 10%.  They will have to make some major adjustments if they want to retire or realistically adjust their time table quite a bit. 

 

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Valentine’s Stewardship Edition:  Money and Marriage

Valentine’s Stewardship Edition:  Money and Marriage

When clients reach out to me in their search of a financial coach, I typically witness two camps of married couples.  There is one camp where both husband and wife, though they relate differently to money, are ready to learn to row their financial stewardship boat in one direction.   

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A Steward’s Guide to Retiring with Dignity: Part 1

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One of the most impactful moments I think I had as a teacher of personal financial stewardship was in all my years of coaching happened a few months ago. I had an opportunity to teach a financial literacy seminar to a group of high school students.  A part of the seminar included an introduction to the power of compound interest along with the rule of 72, and what these young people’s lives would look near their retirement age if they invested consistently from a young age. I talked about Roth IRA, and what this vehicle could do for any individual regardless of their income level in positioning them to retire with dignity and generosity.

I asked if any of them were working, and crunched some numbers to show them how much money a one-time deposit of a certain amount would grow to become if they invested that after-tax amount in a good low-cost index fund in a Roth IRA. There was a 17-year-old student who earned about $2000 in 2017 and wanted to know what that amount could possibly become if invested and left untouched until the age of 65. One-time deposit at the age of 17, invested until the age of 65 in a good low-cost index fund compounded monthly at the average of 10% would result in the total of $238,235! She got the math.  She saw the power of compound interest in action. She got something that most of us don’t get. 

Albert Einstein considered compound interest as the eighth wonder of the world.  He knew that those who understood it earned it while those who didn’t, paid it.  If you have debt, then you are paying it.  If you are debt free, and saving and investing wisely, then you are likely earning it.  Back in my adolescent days, I tutored math to little kids at an afterschool program.  Only if someone had taught me this principle when I was 15.

When I started working as a teacher right out of college at the of 22, a school administrator sat me down for 5 minutes and asked me if I wanted to contribute to a 403b plan.  He didn’t really explain why I should do this or what this could do for me.  Maybe he did explain and I just didn’t listen.  Even though it wouldn’t have been very much, if I had just contributed $2000 at the age of 22, and left it until I was 65, it could accumulate into around $120,000. 

As Christ-followers seeking to steward well for God’s approval, how are we to think and live biblically toward retirement?  I don’t want to go too much about the concept of retirement itself.  After all, while saving for future is biblical, the concept of retirement at the age of 65 is an invention introduced into our world history in the 1880s by Bismarck.

Biblically, however, we are taught to be wise and save for our future instead of devouring it all (Prov. 21:20).  Joseph clearly practiced God-given wisdom when he saved during a time of plenty to prepare for a coming famine (Gen. 41).  That is something that can easily be transferred to our lives, our productive years and not-so-productive years of old age.  However, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ also taught us in Luke 12:13-21 how not to save up treasures for ourselves but instead save up treasures toward God. 

As a steward managing what the good Lord has given me to manage for his approval, I must confess that yours truly is still wrestling.  I want to finish well.  I want to provide for my family, want to be a blessing and grow to become more generous and sacrificial in my giving toward God, and toward eternal things that matter to the Lord.  But the fight is real.  I can only have one master, and the Lord asks me daily to offer myself as a living sacrifice, and not be conformed to the patterns of this world.

In the next several weeks, we will examine some practical and biblical ways to saving for our future.  Join me on this journey as we strive to grow and mature as God’s stewards managing God’s treasures for God’s approval.

Are you ready to get started?  Contact me at paul@jangfinancial.com if you want to help disciple your congregation as God-honoring stewards from a biblical perspective, or if you yourself want to grow as a steward seeking to practically manage the finances better to hear from our Lord upon his return, “Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.  Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:21, 23) 

Questions to ponder: 

1.     How are the following passages like Proverbs 21:30, Genesis 41, as well as Luke 12:13-21 speaking to you?

2.  Sometimes, we can overly spiritualize and not save anything for the future by speaking in the language of trusting God and trusting in God’s provision.  On the flip side, we can just as easily save like the rich fool who saves for himself instead toward God.  How is the Lord speaking to you?

Paul Jang

Pastor | Personal Financial Coach to Individuals & Financial Stewardship Ministry Consultant for Churches

*If you want to automatically receive this weekly blog, sign up for a free budgeting e-book at www.jangfinancial.com

 

 

A Steward’s Guide to Car Buying Part 3: Doing the Math

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I returned home from a business trip this week to a few options for our good used minivan purchase.  We had a private offer of $16,000 for 2015 Honda Odyssey LX (33,300 miles), originally asked price was $17,500.  This was a great deal. 

In addition to this, a close family friend told me about a used car dealer friend who would give us a great deal.  The bottom line is that we ended up buying from this dealer friend.  To be honest, I am happy with our purchase now but I wasn’t as ecstatic first. I thank the Lord for this minivan. It was a good purchase.

We ended up buying a 2014 Toyota Sienna LE with 35,600 miles for $19,000 in cash. We traded our beater 2000 Toyota Sienna with 160,000 miles for $600 in discount. This beater minivan had a missing seat in the middle row, a non-working sliding door on the passenger side, a non-working driver’s side window, engine oil and steering fluid leakages, and many bumps around the vehicle.  We usually gifted our old car to others who are desperate but we really felt uncomfortable giving this one away because it had so many issues. 

$19,000 included the price of the vehicle, a black box, the $600 credit for the old van, fees, taxes, registration and all paperwork with the DMV.  According to KBB.COM, a fair purchase price for this car with these specifications listed for $18,962 from a dealer before taxes and fees.  So I knew that paying the total price of $19,000 for this 2014 Toyota Sienna from a dealer was a great deal.  And I thank the Lord for it. 

The same or similar minivan could have been purchased privately for around $17,000, and I would have paid $1126 in taxes, more on registration and done all the paperwork myself at the DMV for license plates as well as for my auto insurance paperwork.  But I know that I would have paid another few hundred dollars to get the minivan checked out with my mechanic.  After all additional fees, I would have saved about $500 if I had bought an equivalent vehicle privately and done all the paperwork myself. 

All in all, because we had been saving up for this car for the past 5 years and could write a check on the spot for the car, we were positioned well.  Because we didn’t need the car urgently, we were not desperate and positioned well.  Because we had a clear budget of $20K we were committed to, we knew where our line was.    

To be honest, when we first bought the minivan, I thought I didn’t get a great deal so I wrestled a bit internally.  But the more I thought about it, did the numbers, I knew that the dealer was more than generous with me and my wife.  I’m still relearning to be thankful.

Last week, we thanked the Lord for our beater 2000 Toyota Sienna.  Today, we thank the Lord for our new used 2014 Toyota Sienna.  Our kids were complaining a long time about our minivan situation.  They complained a lot about wanting a better minivan for the past several years.  We had been telling them to wait and pray for the past 2 years or so, but now, we get to thank the Lord for this van.

When we picked up the minivan from the dealer and drove it home, our kids were so excited and we drove around the neighborhood.  We paid in cash and we didn’t owe anyone anything for this car.  We reminded them that we had been saving for many years, we chose to stay within our means, and now are enjoying the freedom the Lord gave us.  We prayed together that evening in our new minivan, thanking the Lord for this gift.    

Our hope and prayer is that we show our children how to be content in all circumstances, whether we drive a beater 2000 Toyota Sienna with all the inconveniences or drive a 2014 Toyota Sienna with everything working and having no payments, we want to be able to say we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. 

Are you ready to get started?  Contact me at paul@jangfinancial.com if you want to help disciple your congregation as God-honoring stewards from a biblical perspective, or if you yourself want to grow as a steward seeking to practically manage the finances better to hear from our Lord upon his return, “Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.  Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:21, 23) 

Questions to ponder: 

1.     How long do you have until you will need to replace your current car?  How much do you want to spend on your next car?  How much do you need to save monthly to do so?

2.    If you are married with children, how are you training your children as God’s stewards?  What are they learning from you? 

Paul Jang

Pastor | Personal Financial Coach to Individuals & Financial Stewardship Ministry Consultant for Churches

www.jangfinancialcoaching.com

*If you want to automatically receive this weekly blog, sign up for a free budgeting e-book at www.jangfinancial.com

A Steward’s Guide to Car Buying Part 2: 4 Things You Must Be Able to Do When Buying a Good Used Car

So this week, the salesman from the used car dealer continued introducing us to various minivans, mainly Toyota Sienna LE.  They were mainly 2014 models, ranging from 36,000 miles to 45,000 miles.  Don’t get me wrong, the minivans were good, and the asking prices were reasonable.  One thing for sure, though, is that those vans were really pushing our budget to the max.

I had to do what was uncomfortable as I did not want to waste more of the salesman’s time or mine.  I expressed my gratitude to the salesman for his time and effort, but I told him that we were looking for a great deal, and looking closer to the $15K budget than $18K. Definitely not exceeding $18K.  I reminded him that we were not in a rush to buy a minivan and that we really wanted to wait. I had to clarify my expectations as well as his as my previous experiences with a different salesman there were a vastly different.

As a buyer who is not in a rush, we started looking at other places for a better deal.  Eventually, my wife found a 2015 Honda Odyssey LX with around 36000 miles with an asking price of $17500. When we checked the model, mileage and condition at KBB.com, we realized that the seller was looking to sell the van for close to the maximum private sales price.  We called and asked why they were selling the van and we were told that they were leaving the country at the end of February.  We asked if they were willing to sell it for $16000, that we can pay cash, and close right away. 

To be honest, we liked this minivan, but this wasn’t a great deal.  Not yet.  The owner told us that they’ll get back to us.

The seller contacted us a few days later, now asking for $16750.  The price was better but we weren’t quite there yet.  After all, they had about a month and a half left to sell the van, and we were more interested in buying it for closer to $16250, which is a few hundred dollars more than what they would get if they were to sell it to the dealers.  Yes, I wanted to save another $500.  After all, if we were going to buy this van, I wanted to take it to my mechanic and pay a few hundred dollars to have him take a good and thorough look at it to make sure we were getting a car without any major problems.  We gave our offer of $16250, and left it with that.

As my wife and I were going through this week of looking for a good used minivan within our budget, we relearned few lessons we had learned about 10 years ago when we bought our current 2000 Toyota Sienna.

1)    Stay away from debt and don’t buy more than you can afford.  I have to admit that the salesman kept bringing vehicles that were really pushing out budget, or going beyond it, even encouraging us to finance the vehicle so we can get a great car.  We were constantly pushed and tempted to get more than we could afford.  We had to constantly remember to stay within our means.    

2)    Don’t rush.  Take your time.  The dealer was clearly incentivized by making his sale fast, and we were pushed to decide quickly, telling us that we would miss a great deal if didn’t act quickly.  To be honest, I was tempted at times to get rid of the beater minivan that my wife was driving.  After all, it was inconvenient with various non or poor functioning parts from power widows, non-functioning door, leaking oil, etc. However, the more I learn about people who manage their finances well, I learn that they don’t buy things last minute or when they feel urgent.  Convenience always has a high price.  When we are not desperate, we can wait for a great price.  We learned to be patient again.  We learned again how to walk away and be okay with that. 

3)    Don’t be afraid to negotiate.  Now that we were dealing directly with the owner instead of the dealer, I knew that I had to negotiate the price more.  To be honest, I don’t really like to negotiate prices.  I think there are many of us living in America who don’t like to negotiate.  I typically do research on prices of various goods online, and when I find the best deal, I either order online or go to the store and just buy the item.  After all, when was the last time you went to a department store and tried to negotiate?  Most of us don’t do that.  However, while our culture might make us feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about this whole price negotiation process, the majority of the world’s commerce operates with haggling of prices. It’s expected and some take offense when you don’t try to make a deal.  If the owner of this 2015 Honda Odyssey ends up selling for the maximum private seller price, I would be happy for them.  But if they get no buyers by the end of February, I want to be able to offer them a price that is better than a dealer but also better for us than what they were offering now.  Don’t be afraid to negotiate prices. 

4)    Cash rules.  The fact that we have saved up cash for the past 5 years and actually have the money readily available positions us well as a buyer.  We can simply write a check.  We don’t need to get a loan from a bank.  My current 2010 Hyundai Sonata was purchased about 4 years ago in a similar way with cash.  Start saving up for your next car you need to replace.  It will position you well for a great deal and keep you away from debt.   

My wife and I will keep on praying, asking the Lord for contentment and patience, and wait for the Lord to bless us with a minivan that is the right condition and price for our family.  Yes, our current minivan has many inconveniences, but my wife is awesome.  She keeps insisting that since we had recently spent several hundred dollars fixing it up, we need to get our money’s worth and drive it more.  Praise the Lord for a wife such as her.  My wife is a gift from God.   

We still choose to thank the Lord for what He has given us.  We thank the Lord that our 2000 Toyota Sienna with 165,000 miles, despite all its inconveniences and non-functioning parts, still is safe to drive and runs relatively well.  We continue to wait and pray that one day the Lord will bless us with a great used minivan that will be a blessing for our family. 

I continue to mediate the famous, though often taken out of context, verses from Philippians 4:11-13, as Apostle Paul speaks of God’s provision, boldly teaching the Christians of Philippi how he has learnt to be content in whatever situation.  Whether the Lord blessed him with abundance and need, plenty and hunger, Apostle Paul was able to praise God and do all things through Christ who strengthened him.  We too long to utter and live out those words for God’s glory.

Are you ready to get started?  Contact me at paul@jangfinancial.com if you want to help disciple your congregation as God-honoring stewards from a biblical perspective, or if you yourself want to grow as a steward seeking to practically manage the finances better to hear from our Lord upon his return, “Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.  Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:21, 23) 

Questions to ponder: 

1.     When it comes to cars (or other significant purchases), do you buy more than you can afford?  Proverbs 22:2 teaches us that the borrower is the slave of the lender.  How is the Lord speaking to your heart and your spending lifestyle?

2.    Proverbs 21:20 teaches us, “Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man’s dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.”  How can you start patiently saving for future purchases?  What makes it especially hard for you to do so?

Paul Jang

Pastor | Personal Financial Coach to Individuals & Financial Stewardship Ministry Consultant for Churches

www.jangfinancialcoaching.com

*If you want to automatically receive this weekly blog, sign up for a free budgeting e-book at www.jangfinancial.com

A Steward’s Guide to Car Buying: Part 1

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During this recent Christmas season, a family member drove my 2000 Toyota Sienna and commented how unsafe they felt driving it.  The ABS light did come up and when those comments were made, I became worried.  I’m okay with inconveniences like power window not working consistently on the driver’s side, one of the sliding doors not opening from the inside, and leaking engine oil that I had to fill up a few times a month.  After all, this was a 17-year old minivan we purchased way back around in 2006 when our second child was born. 

My wife and I knew we needed a new minivan soon but when I heard those words about ‘safety’, I wondered if I was risking the safety of my family in the name of financial stewardship and debt-free living.  I prayed and asked God if I was elevating stewardship over safety. I had just replaced the tires and had the minivan checkout, and I felt I did my due diligence in getting ready for the winter. 

So, as a worried husband and father, I took my minivan back to my mechanic to have the ABS light checked out and asked if my minivan was dangerous to drive.  He fixed the sensor issue and reassured that while clearly my minivan was a beater and lacked power, it was safe to drive.  I felt reassured and drove away.

We bought this minivan for a little less than $10K with cash and drove over 100,000 miles over more than 10 years.  We knew that we should start looking to replace our minivan.  We thought about it last year but with some financial uncertainties, we felt it best to just wait a bit longer.  We have been saving for a replacement minivan for over 5 years, and now we had just enough to buy a good used car for a little less than $20K, including taxes, and everything else.  (Instead of paying someone else a monthly payment, this is something you can do too.  If you know you will need a new car in 5 years, you can do your calculation, and start saving accordingly each month.)

In all of this, I had to remind myself a few things.  After all, I coach people all the time about their car situations as I serve people who have $500 per month car payments all the way up to $1500 per month car payments.  Don’t make emotional decisions.  Stay away from car payments by paying yourself regularly. 

However, when I heard the word “unsafe”, I felt compelled to rush the buying process.  After getting the minivan checked out with my mechanic and being reassured that it was perfectly safe, I slowed down and did not react emotionally.  We simply began the process of looking for a replacement car that was within our budget.

So, I reached out to a good used car dealer that I have used before and started my process.  After all, my current minivan was purchased from them, and I was satisfied with it.  The sales person I was introduced at this time was new and I just told them my specifications.  That I was looking for a good used minivan between the price of $15K-$18K, preferably Toyota or Honda, and paying in cash.

It’s been only a week but I must admit that I have been tested.  I’m still challenged to stay within my budget because the salesman is bringing minivans to me and my wife that is a few thousand dollars above our budget. Nicer minivans, but more than what we can afford. 

It’s amazing how I’m telling him that I’m paying cash, but the salesman tries to get me to purchase more than I can afford, and even tries to get me to finance the car.  No surprises there.  Financing is where they make the money.   

My wife and I have been here before, and we just said no and we held our ground.  I have to confess, though, it does get tempting with newer cars, better cars, and cars with more options.  But at the end of the day, we both know that a car drives much better when we don’t owe any money and we can sleep better at night knowing we don’t have any monthly payments.  After all, this is what I coach my clients to do.  Buy cars in cash so you don’t have any payments. 

Today, my wife still drives the beater, 2000 Toyota Sienna.  She is perfectly OK with it. Actually, because we have already spent a few hundred dollars fixing it up in the past several months, she feels like she needs to drive it a little longer to get our money’s worth.  I thank the Lord for her.  That she is content and patient.  That we are seeking Lord’s direction and approval together.

We are not in a rush.  We already passed over a few minivans because we felt it was not the best deal.  We will take our time.  We will continue to wait.  We will continue to fight for a debt-free living.  We will continue to fight for contentment.  We will continue to fight for patience.  We will continue to pray and seek to grow as a family that is learning in whatever situation to be content.  Whether we are driving a 2000 Toyota Sienna with 160,000 miles with many inconveniences or driving a good used minivan (hopefully, at least 2015 model with a good price), we want to say, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:12-13).

 

Are you ready to get started?  Contact me at paul@jangfinancial.com if you want to help disciple your congregation as God-honoring stewards from a biblical perspective, or if you yourself want to grow as a steward seeking to practically manage the finances better to hear from our Lord upon his return, “Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.  Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:21, 23) 

Questions to ponder: 

1.     Do you have any car payments?  If so, how much?  Do you want to be financially free from such burdens in the future? 

2.    Instead of making monthly payments for cars or alike, how can you pay yourself and begin saving for a future purchase of a good used car? 

3.    As a Christ-follower, how can the way you purchase a car be transformed to make your relationship with Christ more intimate?  If what Christ accomplished on the cross fully establishes your sense of worth and value, how might you need to reexamine your relationship with the car you drive (now or in the future)? 

4.  If Christ came to set you free from the wages of sin and power over death, how might your tendency of enslaving yourself to debt need to be reconsidered as a disciple of Christ? 

 

 

Paul Jang

Pastor | Personal Financial Coach to Individuals & Financial Stewardship Ministry Consultant for Churches

www.jangfinancialcoaching.com

*If you want to automatically receive this weekly blog, sign up for a free budgeting e-book at www.jangfinancial.com

The Most Important Stewardship Question

 

During the last week of 2017, a family reached out to me because they were in pain, living paycheck to paycheck and behind on their bills. They were making a little less than $100,000 a year.  

Another family reached out to me on the first day of 2018 as they were experiencing an incredible amount of pain and stress as a family.  They had too much credit card debt and were living paycheck to paycheck. And guess what they were earning? They were making more than $250,000 a year.

Sometimes, I hear people tell me that if they earned just a little more, they wouldn’t be in the mess they were in. However, the reality is, the problem is usually not in the amount of income we bring home.  I coach people who earn $500,000 a year who are still living paycheck to paycheck with more credit card and consumer debt than they can manage.

Why do people reach out to me?  Because they want to experience financial peace.  They want to learn to manage their finances better.  They want to learn to budget and learn to spend less than they make.  They want to sleep better at night and if married, they want to stop fighting with their spouse.  They want to plan for their future. 

These are good goals to have.     

Now most people who reach out to me are where they are because they have spent more than they earned year after year.  They purchased their dining, entertainment, and vacation experiences they really couldn’t afford.

They bought too much car, took out too much mortgage for their homes, and borrowed just too much for their education. 

And to be honest, just as it took a long time to get where they are, it will take a while to get their finances in order as they learn to think and live differently.  Learn to spend less than they make, get on a written budget, get out of debt, and learn to save for the future and retirement.

While I often work with people through their emergency financial situations, for Christ-followers, there is something foundational that needs to be addressed as the bleeding stops and practical financial wisdom is gained. 

If we don’t answer this question correctly, we will miss the whole point about biblical financial stewardship.  How do you answer this question, “Whose is it?”

Who owns the financial resources we are managing?

Scripture teaches us that all the wages we earn through work or any other increases we receive are the Lord’s.  God is the owner and God has entrusted you and me as Christ-followers to manage His treasures for His glory and approval.  God never transferred ownership to us but left us as stewards, temporary managers.

The Parable of the Talent (Matthew 25:14-30) is the second of the three parables Jesus taught about His second coming, teaching us to live with the readiness of His return.  In this parable, we are specifically taught to manage the master’s resources well for His approval upon His return.

If God were to evaluate us as His CFOs, managing His finances, would God be pleased with our management of His resources? 

In order for us to manage God’s finances God’s way, we need to know and remember again and again that everything belongs to God.  As we remember the truth that everything belongs to God, we seek to discern God’s heart and desire in the way we manage God’s treasurers. 

If everything belongs to God, then we will naturally seek to know the Owner’s wishes. 

Are you ready to get started?  Contact me at paul@jangfinancial.com if you want to help disciple your congregation as God-honoring stewards from a biblical perspective, or if you yourself want to grow as a steward seeking to practically manage the finances better to hear from our Lord upon his return, “Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.  Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:21, 23) 

Questions to ponder: 

1.     Are you experiencing financial duress right now?  What sort of financial pain are you experiencing now? 

2.     As a Christ-follower, how does the way you manage the financial resources reflect the truth of God’s ownership of your finances?  How do you seek to discern God’s wishes in the way you manage?

 

Paul Jang

Pastor | Personal Financial Coach to Individuals & Financial Stewardship Ministry Consultant for Churches

www.jangfinancialcoaching.com